Everything was perfect,

everything planned to a T.

Everything had a place,

everyplace had something.

We had a place,

and we were something.

Everything was perfect,

God could have commended our plans.

We met him half way,

we met him half way,

we met him our way,

but I don't know about today.

Isn't it interesting that days I would rather forget are the ones that alter so much? That "forgetting" a day is so easy in the good-quiet-mundane, the days we fight for and work for and hope for. But the other days, the hard days, the days where nothing is going well. Those days etch into memory.

I am convinced that the older I get the worse a bad day is, and the better off I am to deal with it. It's not the events that scare me but the power I have to change them. It is not that I can't control others but that suddenly I control myself.

MADNESS

This is a weird day.

It started like any other.

I biked a lot yesterday but for some reason that only feeds that freakish addiction to cross country, near death, ubber fun

cycling...

It's a weird day because I have

no where to be

no one to see

nothing pressing.

It took me until 2 o'clock to do some laundry, and now the real madness begins. I spent the morning drawing Chinese dragons. Now I'm really going crazy. I can't sit still.

Today for some reason I am PAINFULLY aware that I have 3 suitcases-worth of stuff and would only ever check one bag. I miss home, but I don't want to leave here. It's weird to realize you don't want to 'lose the game', yet losing would actually get you something you want. I get a job here and I stay, I don't get a job and I get to see my family, my dog, and my beach!

But there's that problem of 3 suitecases...

So I'm going to drag all of my stuff into the living room.

right

NOW.

I'm going to settle this match with the crap-monster once and for all! I'm going to Shane-Clayborn my belongings and Emergent my bedroom, all the while being hipsterly annoying to my still sleeping roommate, who, might I mention, is still asleep at 2:13 p.m.

Today I am pitifully aware that I watch too many movies, eat too much of my rationed food supply, and YET--I am also aware of about 5 things I might kill someone to get.

#1. guitar

#1.5 something to sing

#2 my bike

#3. my keys

#4. my wallet

#4.5 money in my wallet

#5 SOMEWHERE TO GO!

Oh and here's a conundrum for you.

So I left my bike a M.'s house, and I need it to go get quarters.

I also need my wallet and keys to lock up my bike and pay for quarters,

but they're at K.'s house on the opposite of the street from M.'s.

BUT I don't have clothes to be out and about today because I need to do laundry. So, yeah. I'm stranded in my ugly t-shirt....

Its' rather odd.

I mean...I'm a loner...I should like this stuff

but

I

am

going

CRAZY

Today it took me 20 minutes to find 4 quarters. None of which were found together. It was a feet.

Yesterday I was praying. I had stuff to pray about, so I did. That was cool. I talked to God, then he talked back. I didn't feel alone.

I

don't

feel

alone.

I like that.

this is a really

really thoughtless blog.

no one should enjoy this.

but I have a feeling if I post now

it will make the next one easier

and if I don't get going on it now

I won't feel like restarting.

now on to being EMERGENT!